Project

A big, heavy lump hit the floor beside me with a dull, meaty thud. I looked down at it. It was furry—mostly a muddy brown, with a lighter shade running along its back. The fur at its center lay short, denseand glossy, while the hair along the upper ridge was longer, slick like shiney threads.

An oval shape broke the monotony of the dirty subway floor. I saw it slightly move. A faint rise and fall. Breathing.

Whatever this bundle of fur was, it was alive.

For three long minutes, I tried to make sense of it, my mind turning in slow. A dog? A big brown dog, Saint Bernard dog? A large coat rolled up in on itself? Something worse? I couldn’t tell. I just stared at the shapeless thing, my pulse ticking in my ears.

Then a man stepped forward, wordless but smiling, grabbed the furry mass. He lifted it with both hands and set it down on the bench.

That’s when I realized.

I was on my way to a promotion job at the airport, early in the morning I got this kind of scene, the train humming through the dark tunnels like it had somewhere better to be. I hesitated. Should I stay? Get off with her at the next stop? Call an ambulance and wait until they came?

I didn’t know the rules for this sort of thing. Nobody ever teaches you what to do when a life folds in on itself right in front of you.

The woman was intoxicated—nearly unconscious. She fought to keep her eyes open, but they shut again and again, like too heavy shutters in an very old house. Her body tilted slowly to the left. Her eyes snapped open; she dragged herself upright, staring around in unpleasant confusion, as if she wanted to make sure that no one had observed her.

Then her upper body sagged once more, collapsing to the side.

No one moved.

The train kept going.

At the next station, I stepped off the subway and didn’t look back.

I often thought about this situation over the next few weeks. I left the subway because I assumed that another person would help her. I often had a guilty conscience, because I still don’t know if anyone helped her. Did she make it to the subway herself or did someone accompany her to the subway? A young woman who spent her night with people who obviously mixed a substance into her drink so that she was no longer conscious. Pure alcohol consumption would not put them in this state. A few years ago, I talked to a person about the frequency of introducing substances or knockout drops into drinks at events, bars or clubs. It turned out to me that this is much more common than is generally assumed. This makes it clear how dangerous it is as a woman to leave your drink unattended in public.

Years ago, I tried various substances with friends before the evening started. They increased the need for socializing and the urge to communicate, prevented the onset of fatigue, and caused difficulty falling asleep early the next morning. The opposite experience compared to the woman from the subway. Voluntarily taking a drug that knocks you out for the rest of the evening when the evening is just starting doesn’t make sense. There are other drugs that do not cause prolonged wakefulness, but do not cause a knockout as described. Years ago, I took hallucinogens. I wanted to find out what effect they have on me and not leave it at the description of other people. Lights fascinated me and seemed to me to be something extraordinarily wonderful. I walked through the streets of Mannheim with a friend and I found every shining lantern in the darkness to be beautiful. After some time I had to go to a toilet. Meanwhile, I spotted the stars in the sky shining brightly in the darkness. Out of enthusiasm about this extraordinary beauty of the stars, I could not initiate my retreat. I looked at the starry sky for some time, when I got back to the friend’s house, he looked at me sad and disappointed and asked me, “What have you been doing for so long? I was going to look for you.” I told him, “The starry sky fascinated me so much that I couldn’t stop looking at it.” Then he started to look at the stars himself and was thrilled. The situation was reversed, he couldn’t get away from looking at the stars and I had to wait for him. On another occasion, when I took the same hallucinogenic substance the second time with the same friend, the experience was very different. I no longer developed this great fascination for lights and could hardly notice a change in perception. For the friend, however, the lights had the same attraction as in the last experience. During another meeting, again in Mannheim, I took a “ticket”. Shortly after taking it, I felt nauseous. I went to the toilet and bent over a toilet bowl with the assumption that I was about to vomit. During my posture over the toilet bowl, I observed small particles floating in the toilet water. They triggered a captivating effect on me.  Again, my stay lasted longer due to the observation of other particles, again I was asked by the friend, “What have you been doing in the toilet for so long?”. I told him, “I observed small particles in the toilet water.” He started laughing and asked me, “Why did you do that?” “I felt sick and I thought I was going to throw up,” I answered him. Then the friend laughed even more and louder, I laughed with him. The laughter was long-lasting and caused pain on both sides of my jaws. Since then, I haven’t taken any hallucinogens.

Conclusion

If you see a person in a drowsy state that looks unnatural, the emergency doctor should be called and the administration of knockout drops should be considered in the first place. A person in this situation has not caused the condition himself and urgently needs help from others. Every single person who observes a person in a difficult situation is involved in the circumstances and should take action. If everyone just watches or walks away and no one helps, no one will do it in the end. Anyone who does not act is an accomplice.